A Letter from Prapatti Current Issue: FEBRUARY 21, 2008 (pdf)
As a student, I was quite an average type, but whenever I used to read , there was seriousness, sincerity, zeal and the sentimentality of being first or second. This sincerity helped me to do well in examinations, but did not satisfy my passion of doing still better. My financial conditions were worse than yours – very unhappy indeed- but I never cared for it. On the other hand, while I was a student of Matriculation, I dreamt of passing my M.A. examination in Philosophy. Philosophical thinking had a tremendous appeal for me. Inquiring about God, Nature, Soul were my native tendencies.
While in B.A. (Hons.) I thought there is nothing impossible in passing the M.A. Exam, but what next! I could clearly see that I can easily become a Lecturer, but that goal did not satisfy me. With severe hard labour, I obtained first class in Philosophy and left for Allahabad for P.G. Studies, but I found I am lacking in zeal and enthusiasm. I did well in my studies, attracted notice of the teachers, but did fall short of my expectation –a first class.
It is here that I resolved to do something very great in life and sincerely wished to dedicate myself for God or the World. Quietly, I got into service, but there was no rest for me – as you know – finally I came down here and settled. Still I believe that I have to struggle very hard till a certain height is reached in the level of consciousness. What I write here is but one side of the story, on the other side rather the unseen side, there was always the Grace of the Divine behind my efforts.
However what I mean to say is this that if you are sincere at one stage, you are automatically taken into the next stage. This doctrine applies both to spiritual practice and worldly dealings. That is why, be sincere to your studies from the beginning.
Edited by Sri Gadadhar Mishra, Published & Owned by New Light Society, Matrubhaban, Sri Aurobindo Marg, Cuttack - 753 013 Kindly send your valuable suggesion to the Editor, In Mother’s Light, at firstname.lastname@example.org